Failing, but not giving up!

            I was so nervous and freaking out this morning as I went to the Prometric Testing Center to take my PRAXIS exam for the 6th time.  This was my last chance to take it and pass so that I could finally start major classes and be one step closer to becoming a teacher.  I prayed not that I would pass, but that God would give me peace no matter what the outcome.  Of course He was faithful and even though I did not pass the test, I had peace and I am excited to begin this new journey with Him and to see what He has in store for me and my life.  I am not giving up on my dream to be a teacher.  I want it too badly to give it up.  I will get there somehow.  This journey is all going to be worth it because I know when I finally have my own classroom that I will go to work every day so thankful for my job.  So thankful that those kids are MY students and so thankful that I have the privilege to teach them.  I will never take it for granted because I have never worked so hard at something in my entire life.  

I don't know where I'm going...but I'm going!

     God is teaching me so much right now about joy and seeking it and finding it in the most difficult of situations.  In those situations where I don't know what I am going to do and what God's plan could possibly be, He is teaching me to be content.  Obviously this wasn't easy for me to achieve.  If you don't believe me, ask my parents about how many times I call them crying because I am overwhelmed, confused, or just hurting.  God is definitely throwing some crazy and challenging situations my way, but day by day He is teaching me how to handle my circumstances. A few weeks ago I started reading this book called "Finding God's Path Through Your Trials."  For a while I actually hated reading it because I was so comfortable with just feeling sorry for myself. But it opened my eyes in a whole new way to how much God does care and how gracious He is. This is one of my favorite parts of the book so far: "But the good news is we can persevere through pain. Because of the grace of God we can be strong even when suffering weakens us. By keeping James' command to 'count it all joy' and by following Paul's example of rejoicing in the power of Christ, you and I triumph over our ordeals. And, like Job, we know blessings await us on the other side of each trial."  The bottom line here is: I do not have a clue where God is leading me, but I will be patient and I will trust in Him. I will smile and rejoice through the confusion.  I will cling to what is true and to what is good. I will cling to Him.