To teach, or not to teach?

The one thing I have always been sure of is the fact that I want to be a teacher.  Although I do want to be a stay at home Mom and teach my own children, until then I want to have my own classroom full of little kids who are eager to learn.  However, now I am not even sure of that anymore.  Today I took my PRAXIS 1 exam for the 5th time and I still came up short of the few points I need to pass.  I was devastated.  Here I am with this deep desire in my heart to teach kids, but I can't get there.  Panic is beginning to settle in because I am taking my last semester of general education classes right now and have no further classes I could register for until making it into the Elementary Education program (which isn't going to happen until I pass this test).  It can only be taken every 30 days which means I have maybe 2 more chances to take it before I need to be registering for spring classes (which I also can't do until I pass this test).  Everyone is beginning to tell me I should be thinking of a back-up plan but I can't seem to make myself do that because my heart is so set on being a teacher.

I have had a love for children for as long as I can remember.  I started babysitting at age 13, nannied for twins for 3 years and have been working in Daycare for the last 4 years.  Who wouldn't love to get paid for playing with play dough and coloring?  Let me just say it: I don't want to grow up!!  Being around kids makes me feel like a kid all over again.  I'm not gonna lie, I have a drawer in my bedroom with slinky's, bouncy balls and yoyo's in it.  I still have a bit of kid left in me.

I think it is so important for kids to have good role models in their lives.  Someone to look up to.  Kids take in everything you say because they want to be just like you.  In this day and age children are so belittled.  I want them to know how special they are and that they can grow up and be something great.  I want to be that person they can count on and look up to.  Not to mention it's the best feeling ever to have a kid wrap their chubby little arms around your neck for a big hug.

So to summarize:  I want to teach, but can't pass my huge entrance exam.  I am trying my hardest to stay positive and I WILL NOT GIVE UP!!! I will not stop trying to become a teacher.  After all, God didn't put this desire in my heart for nothing, did He?